


Shelves & Crime

by nazgulofangmar



Series: The Bookstore Chronicles [1]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Books, Customers - Freeform, Domestic, Fluff, Funny, Humour, M/M, Sassy, Snark, Swearing, based on a real story, bookstore, bookstore customers, middle-aged woman customer, the horror of customer service, ty and customers, ty has it up to here with customers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 22:50:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16649362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nazgulofangmar/pseuds/nazgulofangmar
Summary: Ty has to deal with world's most feared customer: a middle-aged woman. He is not happy.





	Shelves & Crime

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to Rainbow (u know who u are) and your awesome input! =)

It was a slow day at _Brick & Mortar_ books. Perfect for rearranging a few of the shelves and switch out the books presented by cover. Every week or so Ty would dive into the shelves and move books around and giving the shelves a wipe-down. Apparently it helped keeping customers happy and interested. If they saw a _‘new’_ book they were more inclined to buy it even though it had been shelved for the last two months. People were weird and didn’t like to work for their happiness. Browsing shelved books included this no-work policy. 

Ty hummed happily as he gathered a stack of books in his arms. This weekly task kept his mind busy. Topics for their display tables needed to be thought of, books matching the topic needed to be found and everything neatly arranged. Ty would never admit how much fun it was but he had a feeling Zane already knew. Otherwise he’d never let him do most of the displays – not when he came up with themes that either revolved around spies, cats or crime. Ty smiled as he removed the poster hanging from the ceiling from his last genius topic:

_I don’t remember the title but the book was blue._

He’d randomly put every stack of blue books he could find on the table and had patiently waited for the first patron to come up to him and ask for a blue book. He would make a show of thinking hard about the request and then guide the customer to the table.

“Here we have the books that fit your description. It’s just a small collection, mind you, we have more throughout the store. Could it be one of those books?” Ty’d ask innocently.

Zane had mostly watched on in amusement, sometimes sighing at how much fun Ty seemed to have fucking with customers that asked stupid questions.

“What’s this week’s topic for the crime fiction table going to be?” Ty had barely heard Zane approach. He’d been busy shelving books on the upper floor which was basically their LGBTQIA+ section. Almost forty square meters of rainbow. They offered a wide range of novels, children’s books and non-fiction that focused on biographies and the history of queer people. Zane had planned for the rainbow section to be downstairs but Ty had argued that not everyone would be comfortable browsing LGBTQIA+ books while passer-bys could see them from the street. In the end Zane had given in and had to say that the feedback they received had been more than positive. A lot of their regulars met up to discuss books and lounge in the comfortable armchairs and sofas Ty and Zane had provided. They had the feeling that for some the bookstore was like a safe space to openly discuss queer literature without having to fear to be called out by either employees or the owners. It was common knowledge that Ty and Zane were married and would not tolerate homophobia in their store.

Ty looked up with a small grin that had Zane regret letting him decorate the crime section table. As far as he could tell there were true-crime thrillers mixed in with CIA and army books, as well as survival guides (not for the outdoors but for dealing with criminals). Books on how to get away with murder Ty apparently deemed accurate enough to be part of his display, as well as neatly written cards in between. Zane squinted at one of the cards explaining how to leave no trace behind if you wanted to hide a body. Another helpfully provided you with the knowledge needed to evade the CIA (those losers!). He recognised Ty’s, Nick’s and Kelly’s handwriting. His gaze wandered back to Ty who held up a poster with a grin.

_This is not how murder works. Y’all doing it wrong!_

 _Let a pro teach you!_

“Seriously?”

Ty grinned. “Absolutely. There are so many misconceptions in books on how to murder someone, our readers deserve to know how to properly kill a person.”

“Ok, you know what, I’ll be upstairs and shelve the rest of the books. When I get back I want you to have written a second sign that says: _By_ ‘pro’ _we mean the FBI not the criminals._ ”

“You’re such a spoilsport, babe.”

Zane only laughed at Ty’s pouty tone. “No murder, Ty. If you behave I’ll let you go after that art forger the CIA still hasn’t caught. I’m sure they’d be happy if you lent a hand.”

“Mmmh, you really know how to seduce a guy, don’t you?”

Zane gave a sultry grin before he disappeared upstairs. Ty smiled but then his gaze fell on the crime section he’d scavenged. Books everywhere, stacks teetering, half-empty shelves. It always looked like this when he rearranged the shelves.

“Ah fuck”, Ty muttered and started to sort through the chaos. This shouldn’t take no more than fifteen minutes until the shelf was back to its former state. Unless-

As if on cue a customer entered the store. Of course. Ty left the mess and approached the middle-aged woman. She radiated a certain authority and demand Ty knew all too well. Nothing he would do would be fast enough or good enough for her. Fortunately he was a Grady and as such he didn’t give two fucks about that.

“Good afternoon, Ma’am. Are you looking for something in particular or would you like to browse?”

“I’ll browse, thank you.”

Ty raised an eyebrow. _Thank you?_ Maybe he’d read her wrong and she was the one in a million. That one nice middle-aged woman. He’d encountered so many demanding and commanding soccer moms, he felt as though he deserved to finally meet the friendly one. Maybe it was his lucky day.

“If you need anything, I’ll be right over there in the crime section.”

Ty focused on the shelves again and started placing books on the special presentation boards that would support the books into remaining standing up. He placed some novelties on the upper shelves and went to select books for the next shelf board when he heard the telltale grating of a board not being hooked into the shelf properly and starting to slip. With a curse Ty grabbed the board but the books started falling already, knocking into the ones on the lower shelf. Board in hand Ty scrambled to catch at least some of the falling books but most avalanched to the floor.

“Could you order _‘A Grave Calling’_ by Wendy Roberts for me?” a voice asked as the last few books thumped onto the floor.

Ty half-turned, careful not to tip the board he was still clutching. One wrong movement and the board would fall and with it the rest of the books that had not yet given in to gravity. The woman from before was standing behind him, looking at him expectantly. Ty stared. Seriously? Half the shelf had just come down on him and she didn’t even offer a simple _Are you okay?_ or _Can I help you with the shelf?_ And people said _he_ was rude?! 

“ _Your_ fucking grave is calling”, Ty muttered under his breath. Then, louder for the woman to hear. “Excuse me, Ma’am but as you can see I will need a minute to stabilise this board or else the rest of the books will fall.” Ty’s voice was friendly, too friendly as he fought his irritation down. He even had a smile to accompany his fake friendliness. To the customer those smiles always seemed reassuring but to Zane or anyone who knew Ty better it was clear that he was already murdering the person in his mind. Wondering if he should shoot them or better smother them with a pillow at night.

“My name is Alice Reed. I’ll be picking it up next week”, she continued without seeming to have heard Ty at all and turned to leave. It didn’t happen often that Ty was speechless but right now all he could do was stare at the retreating form of Alice Reed. 

“Definitely smothered in her sleep”, Ty decided.

“You destroying shelves again?”

Ty huffed in annoyance as Zane approached with a smirk. “Just help me, will you!” Ty finally hooked the board properly into the shelf once Zane had collected the remaining books. “Those fucking cheap-ass shelves, I swear! They did that on purpose, just to fuck with me!”

“Who?”

“The CIA.”

“The CIA rigged our shelves?” Zane could barely suppress the amused smirk that threatened to show as he watched his husband fume while standing in a heap of books. 

“Yes! And you won’t believe what just happened.”

“A shelf came down on you and you haven’t murdered anyone.” Zane looked around quickly to ascertain that nobody had been hurt or mauled by his husband. But apart from a ton of books the floor was clear of corpses.

Ty snorted. “I was this close to strangle her. Came up to me while books dropped like flies and had the audacity to ask me if I could order her a crime novel. No wait, she didn’t ask. She told me to order it and she’d be back next week to pick it up.”

“Seriously?” Zane laughed but stopped as soon as he saw Ty’s face.

“Do I look like I’m joking? I couldn’t make this shit up if I wanted to. People are crazy, I tell you. I had a mind to take this shelf and smack her with it.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second, baby, but you know how the CIA gets when we murder our customers, civilian customers. Heaps of paperwork and questions.”

Ty smirked and a dangerous spark caught in his eyes. “I have an entire display table over there full of books that help me with removing any trace of any crime. Or hide a body. Several bodies in fact.”

“O’Flaherty and Kelly help you out with all those lovely tips on how to get away with the most gruesome of crimes, huh?”

Ty smiled and gave Zane a quick kiss before stooping to pick up the fallen books. “It was a funny afternoon writing those cards and I’m sure our customers will appreciate them.”

Zane tried very hard not to ogle his husband’s ass as he bent over again to gather more books in his arms. “Let me propose something.”

“We already done the proposing part, Lone Star.”

Zane laughed and leaned in. He wrapped an arm around Ty and brought his mouth close to his ear. “How about I order the book for that crazy lady while you remove this chaos. I’ll close up and meet you upstairs.”

Ty raised an eyebrow and a slow smirk appeared on his lips as he caught on. “Got anything specific in mind?”

“You’ll have to wait and see, beautiful”, Zane drawled and let his hand wander lower until he could cup Ty’s ass.

“Alice Reed, customer. Something with _grave_ and _calling_ in the title.”

Zane smirked and kissed Ty’s neck. “What, Force Recon can’t remember a detail? Shame on you, Meow Mix.”

Ty pushed Zane away and pointed his finger accusingly. “A shelf came down on me!”

“ _’The Calling of the Grave’_ by Simon Beckett?”

“Yeah, probably”, Ty said distractedly as he rummaged through the piles of books and quickly began to re-shelve them. “Was a bit busy trying to catch the shelf, you know.”

“And fix your damn sign so we don’t seem like serial killers!” Zane called back over his shoulder before he disappeared into the back.

**ooOoOoo**

“You won’t believe it”, Zane started with barely concealed laughter.

Ty narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously as he looked up from the gun he was cleaning on the kitchen table. “I believe a lot of things these days. Especially since I started working with customers. People are crazy, man.”

“Alice Reed.”

Ty huffed and started reassembling his gun. Judging by the look on his face Zane could imagine who he thought of shooting. “What about her?”

“She sent someone to let us know she won’t be needing the ordered book no more. Apparently she ordered it somewhere else.”

“And why is that so funny?”

“I knew she’d find a way to piss you off without even stepping foot in here.”

Ty snorted and let the last piece of metal click into position. He looked at the gun then at the book Zane was holding. “I looked this Beckett guy up and apparently he describes the corpses and their different stages of decay very accurately and in detail. Lots of maggots are involved I hear.”

“Yeah, he’s known for creating a dark atmosphere full of suspense and provides gory details.”

“Perfect.”

“For what?”

“Gimme that book, I wanna read it and imagine her as every corpse in it.”

Zane sighed but handed Ty the book, carefully taking his gun from him and putting it on the counter. As he exited the kitchen he could’ve sworn he heard Ty grumble something about a shelf coming down on him.


End file.
